When Generations Live Together
It used to be normal to find two or three adult generations living under the same roof especially in farming communities and dense urban areas. That was true until the 1950s. As Americans became more prosperous, multi-generational life declined.
Of course, religious life still offers true intergenerational living. At Monastery Immaculate Conception in Ferdinand, we have three or four generations living together in community, depending on how you measure a generation. And that comes with some big benefits.
Our younger sisters have a built-in group of mentors within our community. While mentors are wonderful in any setting, they’re especially so in religious life. Our older sisters are in a unique position to guide their younger counterparts through the adjustments needed to adapt to life in a religious community. They’ve been there and done it, and are generous with their wisdom and encouragement.
Our more mature sisters also teach by example. As they lead, setting a vision for the future and making critical decisions, they’re showing younger sisters how to approach challenges and opportunities.
The example of our more seasoned sisters extends to the way they conduct themselves, too. Sisters are human beings just like you, with the same flaws and frailties as everyone. Watching our sisters as they mature and become the best version of themselves is so inspiring to those coming along behind them, and sets a standard to which all can aspire.
Older sisters know so much, a combination of education (most of our sisters have at least one advanced degree, and often several) and experience. They’re coaches and counselors, offering everything from advice and encouragement to comfort and consolation.
Of course, intergenerational living in a religious community like ours is a two-way street, and younger sisters bring something to the table as well.
The energy and enthusiasm of younger sisters as they embrace religious life can be infectious, rekindling the passion and purpose of their more mature counterparts. It’s been shown that older people who spend time with younger ones tend to live longer, more vibrant lives. They simply feel younger themselves.
Newer sisters also bring a fresh perspective to the community. The world is changing more quickly today than at any time in history, mostly because of the speed of technology. A religious community can’t live in the past; they must always adapt to the world in which they find themselves today.
The insights and ideas of younger members, who have grown up with this rapid change, can invigorate a community and help it find ways to remain relevant in this new world. The way we minister to the world has to evolve as the needs of that world do, and younger sisters bring their community closer to that world and its needs.
Even in moments of sadness, this intergenerational life brings benefits. When an older sister passes, the natural sorrow on the part of her surviving sisters is leavened by a richer understanding of this life as temporary and our souls as immortal and eternal. She begins to see death, while sad for us who remain, as the promise of God fulfilled for her sister. That is a comfort.
Finally, there’s the almost intangible and indescribable wonder of a friendship between two people who are separated by many years or decades. The give and take that develops in such friendships, their natural pleasure in sharing experiences and perspectives, will often create relationships of truly surprising depth and warmth.
Interestingly, perhaps as a result of the Great Recession and other social changes, there are more intergenerational households today than at any time since the 1950s. One in five Americans now lives in a home with two generations of adults (age 25 and older) under one roof. Whether that trend continues or subsides remains to be seen. In the meantime, the beauty of intergenerational life in a religious community remains one of its richest treasures.