My Vocation Story : Sister Rose Mary Rexing
“You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last…” (John 15; 15)
My experience throughout my life has been more of God pursuing me than my seeking God. For me, the questions would be better phrased: “How has my community life, prayer, hospitality, and service to others enhanced my awareness of God seeking me?”
In grade school during the pre-Vatican II days, there was so much focus on rules and regulations that as a very young child, I had an image of God as someone very demanding and judging. Because of loving, faith-filled parents and a loving family environment — plus attending church services regularly — I came to know the awareness and touch of a different God.
I distinctly remember one Holy Thursday night in the quiet of adoration that I experienced a loving, abundant God and I knew that somehow, some way, I wanted to seek that loving God, wanted to respond in love. Community life and my various ministries have helped me experience over and over that loving, abundant God. Each community member, each person I meet or serve, reflects a unique revelation of this abundant, loving God. I wanted to live a meaningful life, a life of service for others, and definitely wanted more from life than simply climbing a corporate ladder or making lots of money. Community life and the practice of hospitality have served as mirrors, revealing to me my own strengths and weaknesses. I find that community life offers me the constant opportunity to live my life for God and others, and this draws me out of my self-centeredness. In the mystery of all this, I experience this loving, abundant God very present in the everyday moments of life.
On the whole, I find my life very rich and deep. I thought it would be through prayer where I would most find God but now I must say that it is in relationships. Prayer helps me become more aware of this gracious God seeking me and working through me. Prayer deepens my relationship with others and with God. Life as a Ferdinand Benedictine is about sharing this radical love that God has for me with others in relationships, and to be guided by the Scriptures and the Rule.